A quiet weekend.....thankfully!

Well it's Sunday morning and we are having a much quieter weekend than last week - thank goodness!!

The highlight of last Saturday was while Dan, Lach and Cody were away at Wagin karting and I was left at home with Niamh, Max, Blake and Isla. Max and Blake were being very silly - just one of those moods where I couldn't calm them down no matter what I did. Blake gave Max an almighty shove in the back towards the dining room window and Max went through it - arms outstretched! Both hands got cut up and there was an awful lot of blood and screaming and panic (the panic was mostly from me, LOL!)

After a distress call to Grandad and a quick trip to the hospital Max had his hand glued up and I had called a glass repair man to fix the window. In the end the cuts weren't too bad but still not something I care to repeat in a hurry!!!

This weekend we have spent pottering around the house tidying and cleaning, doing washing and generally tidying up
Lachlan has his friend Jarred coming over shortly so he is looking forward to a day outside riding bikes in the dirt. Cody is glued to the playstation once again and the little kids are running around causing general havoc (as usual!!)

I will dedicate the day to washing and folding laundry.... I am determined to find the floor in there today!! Wish me luck!!!

M
xx

reflecting....

As I sit here late at night (Yes, I should be in bed!!) my mind once again drifts to my Mum and how much I miss her. I am left wondering... does it ever get easier? It's been two years now and I guess in a way it is easier.. I no longer feel like I am in denial about her being gone... nor am I begging the universe to do me a deal and bring her back... but it hurts. It hurts every time I think about her. Every time my kids do something amazing, or funny, or they are sick or hurt themselves... the first thing I think of is... I want to pick up the phone and call Mum! She was really my best friend. She was the one I turned to every time anything at all happened in my life. She was my main support but more than that she was my friend. I cared about all the little details of what was going on with her and I know she cared about all the same things in my life.. unconditionally! I feel like as time goes on I am forgetting the little things.. what she smelled like, all the tiny details, what it felt like to hug her.... I remember in the last month or so of her life when I was still in a bit of denial and Mum stood in my kitchen with her arms around me supporting me and telling me that I was going to be ok!! I would give anything to feel that hug again :'(

It feels like 2 years on I shouldn't still be thinking these things. Like I shouldn't be expressing them because the world has moved on and the accepted 'period of mourning' is over. I don't feel like people really want to be reminded of such sad thoughts and so I just keep them to myself.... and occasionally when it gets too much I spill them out in a forum such as this.

M
xx

PS: I'll come back tomorrow and update with general news of our life when I am feeling a little more cheery!

In other news... Monday again - blerch!! I really don't like Mondays :( It means that it's a whole 5 days till we can spend the day with Dan again and I can get some back up in this mad house!

We had a good weekend though, Saturday was spent doing the usual cleaning and running around to Ballet etc.. then Saturday night I had a few drinks and watched some movies with the kids while Dan and the older boys worked on their Karts in the shed. There was some pretty wild weather overnight Saturday



We woke Sunday morning to find the Trampoline had flown accross the yard and landed very close to the back verandah. We were supposed to be having a family photo shoot Sunday in the bush out the back but of course it had to be postponed till next Sunday due to the weather!! We spent the rest of Sunday just hanging around the house while the kids played and we pottered around doing washing and tidying etc.. .

Sunday night was my brother in law's birthday party at the Yacht club in rockingham so we headed out about 5pm and spent a lovely evening amongst family and friends celebrating with him. It was a great night and a lovely end to a nice cruisy weekend!

NEXT - my new obsession!!

Ever since my friend Simone introduced me to the website for NEXT (a UK based clothing store) I have been in heaven!! I love ordering the kids clothes online and waiting for the postie to bring our goodies! I love the anticipation of waiting and the feeling when they finally arrive and you get to open up the parcels like it is christmas time!! It has been especially good because Next do free postage site wide so it works out to be pretty comparable to prices in Aus except in my opinion, a whole lot nicer than the clothes available for the kids here.

So far I have bought them everything from socks and undies to big winter jackets, dresses and tights, t-shirts and shoes!! Today when the postie arrived she bought with her a delivery that Cody has been waiting on for ages... He desperately wanted a pair of Red Converse Chuck Taylors and today they arrived..... He's going to be so happy when he gets home from school :)

Contigo cups!!

Now I am the first to admit that I love to buy things!! Lately I have been on a mission to find the kids good drinking bottles for school and weekend activities.. I am sick of them breaking as soon as I buy them from places like KMart and Target!!

I think I have found the perfect drink bottles/cups!! They are called Contigo cups and they are awesome!! I ordered 6 of them to begin with and am already loving them :) They have an autoseal technology where the only way you can make the liquid come out is to squeeze the large button near the neck of the cup. Between sips it seals off again and there are no spills and no leaks. It means that when the kids drop their bottles on the floor of the car it will no longer pour out everywhere all over the vinyl! I will also no longer have to deal with the inevitable soggy schoolbag/books and contents!

I ordered a 'Trekker' kids cup for Isla in Purple, Two stainless kids cups in Orange/Yellow and Green/Blue for Max and Blake, and three 'Swish' bottles in Red, Blue and Pink for the older three. The only complaint so far is that the smaller three bottles are really quite small and I am having to refill them quite frequently (not such a big deal) so I am thinking that I will keep those stainless ones at home and order Max and Blake (and maybe myself) another 'Swish' bottle for school use :)

Anyhow.. that is my little review and rant about our new Contigo cups - I am loving them!!

underway!

OK, so I am underway! I have resisted any junk food or carb laden food for a few days now and am actually feeling good. I have begun keeping a food diary to be accountable for my food intake and have decided to totally abstain from wine for just a little while to get me on track! After I have some new habits set up I will introduce a few glasses here and there but for this weekend I am best off staying right away from it!

I have also started using my treadmill. I realized that there was no point in waiting till the kids go back to school. I need to stop making excuses and start making it happen. (cliche I know, but it's the truth!)

I got Niamh to take some 'BEFORE' photos of me in my bathers....EEEEEK! Those shots won't be making an appearance anywhere soon but at least I have them to refer to and they really have helped me to see that I can't kid myself any more. People try to be kind and tell me I look fine or that I must 'hide it well' because they can't see that I need to lose 20 kilos. Well... let me tell you! There is no hiding anything in these photos!! LOL!

All in all I am feeling very motivated. I just need to realize that this is going to take a long time and won't be something I can do in a week.

In other news....

We are one week in to the school holidays and so far it hasn't been too bad. The kids are enjoying a PJ day today and have just been hanging out at home playing on the Wii and watching TV and movies. Yesterday we went to the foreshore and I bought them fish and chips for lunch, they day before that we played with some friends at their house and Tuesday was another day at the foreshore with a different set of friends (this time Neevie's school friends!)

My house looks like a bomb has gone off with this many kids around all day long but I have decided not to worry about it! I can't really control it and if I try to I will just go mental so best to let it go and deal with it in another week ;)

It's friday today so I am looking forward to spending some time with Dan over the next few days. We have nothing planned for tomorrow at all so might go out somewhere as a family. We can't really afford to do anything with an entry fee this week but we might just go for a picnic if the weather plays nice! On Sunday Lachlan and Cody are signed up for a Rookie Development Day at the Kart Club (Cody is now racing too! We bought Lachlan a new larger Kart and Cody is going to take over Lachlan's older smaller one!) Since they will both get a go on Sunday I might see if I can pop out there for a while and take some Video of Cody having a drive! Then Sunday night we are going to Wendy and Matt's for dinner with the whole family so I can't wait for that - should be great!!

So there you have it... All is good in the Horton household this week :)

M
xx

The ugly truth

OK - I can't avoid it any longer... I need to face up to the ugly truth and start to deal with it!!! I have always been bothered by my weight but never have I felt this bad about my body. Since taking the AD's I have steadily gained weight till I am now at the biggest point I have ever been in my life. There's no denying it! I feel fat. I look fat. My clothes don't fit me and I am extremely unfit as a result.... time to put my words into action!

I have about 20kilos to lose (OMG!! Even saying it out loud it sounds so hideous!!) It's time to stop making excuses and start doing!! I am planning on following CK again and just recently Dan and I bought a schmicko treadmill that is sitting in our toy room - ready and waiting!! We decided that since we have hired three times before at about $500 a pop we were better off to actually buy one and keep it :) It means that I will be more able to find time to exercise but I am still going to have to MAKE the time. I will need to get out of bed earlier in the mornings before the kids get up if I want to be uninterrupted. That means I will have to go to bed earlier at night times. I will also have to be more organised and plan better when it comes to meals and food. It's going to take practice and I am going to stuff up occasionally but I need to make myself remember that this time it's not all or nothing... it's a journey and if I stray occasionally the trick will be to get back on the right path ASAP instead of throwing in the towel and declaring the 'diet ruined'.

So there you have it. Short and sweet. That is my plan. There's no point going on about it - I just need to get on with it!

Marnie