Saturday 10 October 2009

busy..busy..busy!

We don't seem to have a moment to spare these days! We are always rushing to get somewhere or get something done. This morning we got everyone up and out of the house around 7am to go watch the boys first tee ball matches of the season. It was Cody's first ever game and Lachlan's third season and they had a great time. Both teams lost unfortunately but I think they are really going to enjoy it, even if they don't win most of the time ;)

Next Saturday dancing lessons start up again for term 4 so that means that I will have to take the 5 littlest with me to dancing and then head to tee ball after that in time to catch Lachlan's game. It means that I will always miss Cody's though :( and I can't leave any of the kids with Dan because he happens to be the coach so he's a bit busy, lol!

We rushed back home from Tee ball this morning so that Dan could get stuck into the back yard. He has been working on it every spare minute he gets and it is still a looong way from finished! Today he is hiring a dingo and a turf cutter and removing about a tonne of sand and grass from the yard to make room for the softfall rubber flooring to be poured.... I can't wait till it's all done and the kids can be free to play outside! I think they are going to have a great summer with this backyard completed.

Tomorrow we have a 5th birthday party to go to! James from my mothers group turns 5 and he's having a party at his house. The kids love going there since they live on a large block and have so much space to run around.... it should be fun!

The weather has finally changed and it's so nice to step outside and feel the sunshine. This past winter was the longest coldest most miserable winter I remember in a long time and I am sure that has to do with what we have been through as well as the actual weather. I am pleased to finally be able to focus on something a little more positive.

We are heading towards the most crazy time of year. I was looking on the calendar and in a few weeks time we will be at the point where there is a birthday on every weekend till christmas! I am just about to start my christmas shopping next week and I just know this last school term is going to fly by!

It's going to be a tough first christmas without mum and Janette there, but no matter how sad we might feel the kids will still be kids and it will all still happen. I know mum would want us to carry on as usual and make it a happy family time so that is what we will try to do

M.

Monday 28 September 2009

an update....

It's about time I popped in and posted an update on us and all we have been up to! Life has been pretty crazy this year but I think we are slowly starting to settle down and return to a new kind of normal..

Lachlan

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Lachlan has been through a lot this year. On top of the losses we have had to deal with he has also been working hard on figuring out what is going on with him at school. After his test results have come back from dsf. we have gotten a formal diagnosis of inattentive type ADHD and also possibly another learning disability (yet to be diagnosed). We have started him on ADHD medication and he is adjusting really well. I am hopeful that he is going to be able to sort himself out now and focus better at school, in turn helping him to be able to catch up to an acceptable level and to fit in better with his peers.

Cody

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Codes is going fantastically at school. He is already learning to read and write and just seems to really have a love of learning that I hope to be able to encourage through the years.

Niamh

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Neevie is sooo ready to go to school! Just one more school term and she will be off to Kindy two days a week - she is going to love it! Until then I need to find something to keep her entertained at home, lol! Tormenting her younger siblings seems to be a favorite at the moment so I guess that will continue for a while yet ;)

Max and Blake

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Are as cheeky as ever! They are almost two and a half and keep us entertained constantly. I am really starting to enjoy them a lot more as they get older. We had a rough start with them and things have been challenging ever since, but they are getting older and gaining little personalities that make me laugh so much lately. They are still very stressful when they both whinge and whine at me but I just keep reminding myself that it's not their fault they are two years old, that there's two of them and that they are babies 4 and 5 out of 6!

Isla

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Is such a little poppet! She just makes me smile every time I look at that cheeky face and in a lot of ways she has been what has gotten me through the sad days. She has been such an angel and is now sleeping through the night most of the time. She is 10 months and not yet crawling properly (though she does this 'commando crawl' thing and certainly gets where she wants to be) I am finding myself thinking about planning her first birthday and that is a hard thing to think about.. I can't imagine going through all my kids birthdays and christmas this year without mum but it's going to have to happen..

And as for the day to day 'what we've been up to' news....

We are in the process of doing up the backyard for the kids. We have bought a massive fort/cubby/slide and it's going in near the pool, then we are doing a concrete 'race track' for the little kids bikes up the other end of the yard. It should look a bit like a daycare centre when it's done but I figure.. why fight it? we almost qualify as a day care centre anyway! Might as well make the most of the tiny amount of space we have and let the kids enjoy it since we are not moving anywhere now for 5 years or so. I'll post some photos when we get it all together.. at the moment it just looks like a bit of a mess.

It's the end of the long weekend here and we've had a nice time. The weather has finally broken and shown us a little taster of sunshine (very nice!) We went on a picnic to Whiteman Park with the Lacklisons yesterday and the kids had a great time (the photos above are from the picnic). I am looking forward to getting some more sunshine and enjoying some more fun times with my family - it's about time we got to smile :)

That's about it for now.. I'll try to post an update on the backyard soon :)

M.

Saturday 15 August 2009

Well, it seems that all my posts are pretty miserable lately. I apologize for inflicting this on anyone who might be reading (if I haven't scared you all away with my negativity this year!??!)

Janette (MIL) lost her battle with cancer a few weeks ago :( About 6 weeks after mum's passing. I can't really say a whole lot, other than I think we have been through enough to last a lifetime now so if the bad luck fairy would please piss off and leave us alone I would be extremely grateful! I've had enough, Dan's had enough and the kids have definitely had enough!!

Other than surviving the drama of life, we have been pretty busy getting through the day to day stuff. Lachlan has been for his testing at the Dyslexia Speld Foundation so I am just waiting on the report to come back from the paediatric psych on that and we will see what we are dealing with and find a way to help him out.

Max and Blake went for their final neonatal follow up appointment and 2 year old assessments at King Edward and we got the fantastic reports back that they are both well within the normal range for everything and that in a lot of cases, they scored in the high average ranges! I am very pleased that this is our final follow up and it would appear that they have totally escaped any negative health effects from being premature!!

Niamh, Isla and Cody are doing great. Cody is going gangbusters at school and really achieving beyond his years, Niamh is enjoying the attention of Pattama, our day carer...but that is all going to end soon as we only have three weeks left with her :(

I have no idea how I am going to cope when I am back on my own with the kids. I am actually feeling very apprehensive about it. It's not that I can't handle my own kids - of course I can. But I don't really trust my moods and emotions at the moment. I am still so touchy and cranky (and generally miserable) that I worry that I won't be able to control myself when the kids get on my nerves. I think I will need a lot of time outs and deep breaths to deal with it and not loose my cool. oh well... fingers crossed!! The day was always going to come when the daycare ended, I'll just have to find a way to manage!

Miss Isla is growing so fast. I am sad that my last baby girl is now 8 months old and getting a personality of her own. I love that she is so funny and cheeky, and of course gorgeous! But I am sad that we are leaving our tiny baby days behind us. I am glad that I am nearing the end of sleepless nights and a day where nappies are no longer needed in this house is now in sight, but at the same time I am sad that we will never again get to experience that joy of growing a new life and bringing home a tiny little baby to join our family! Ultimately though, I know that I cannot take any more and that I have more than enough work ahead of me with the 6 kids that I have. It's time I enjoyed the kids I have and spend my time and energy on helping them to grow to be great people - I am looking forward from here!

Now... if only this crappy weather would change and the sun would come out! I hate winter and rainy cold days!! I need to see the sun so that I can change my attitude and lift my mood (and dry my washing, lol!) We have a busy weekend ahead with the boys going to a birthday party this afternoon and then Rod, Dana and the girls coming over for dinner. Then tomorrow is a big day of house cleaning and yard sorting - even if it's pouring with rain!! It's got to be done after 6 months of neglect! Wish us luck ;)

M.

Monday 29 June 2009

stormy weather....

I'm not having such a good day today, and I don't think this weather is really helping. It's bleak and windy and miserable! I am feeling very raw today for some reason... some days I think I have it under control and then it hits me like a tonne of bricks. I burst into tears at the drop of a hat and am very cranky and miserable. My poor kids don't know what they have done wrong and I am just no fun to be around... the hurt is too great and I wonder if I will forever walk around feeling like a huge part of me is missing? I wonder if there will come a day where an hour will pass that I don't think of calling mum for a chat about this or some advice about that... I wonder if I will ever stop feeling so incredibly alone and if I will make it out the other side of this fog I am living in. If I will some day answer people when they ask the usual old 'how are you?' with my standard "I'm good, thanks!" and it will actually be the truth? I know it's only been a few weeks but my gut feeling is that..no!...these things will not really change, that I will forever live in a different world now, without my best friend... without my mum....

M.

Sunday 28 June 2009

What's been going on??

It has been THE most horrendous year on record for us. I thought it was about time that I checked back in and updated my blog though...

As I said in my last post, Mum was diagnosed with cancer at christmas time last year. We knew from the beginning that it wasn't likely to have a fairy tale ending, it was Melanoma - the same type of cancer she had when I was only 12 years old. The whole way through her illness mum was so brave and strong. I was constantly surprised by her positive attitude. She kept on saying that she would never have changed a single thing about her life and that she felt blessed. To be honest, I struggled to be so positive, I still do! but that was just mum's way, right to the end she was more worried about all of us and how we would handle her death than she was concerned for herself!

On the 29th of May, the day after the twins' 2nd birthday mum passed away at the Murdoch Community Hospice. I have spent every day since trying to learn to live without her. My heart still feels like there is a great gaping hole, I don't think that's ever going to go away but maybe I will learn to live with it... in time....

Then, as if that wasn't enough heartache, my MIL is also very very sick. It's not my place to talk freely about her personal situation on the WWW but the reality is that she is now in palliative care - anyone who knows cancer knows what that means...

The reality of having 6 kids aged 7 and under has really hit us. I know that we would be handling things a whole lot better at the moment if we weren't under so much other stress, but life feels pretty sucky right now :( I thought things sucked when the twins were born, but at least that had a happy ending... right now I am just hoping that we can make our way out the other side of all this and still find something to smile about.

God... what a depressing post!! OK, just to lighten the mood a little...

The twins turned 2! They are such big boys now and getting so clever. They have a tonne of words and they are so funny to watch together! It never ceases to amaze me how aware of each other they are (don't get me wrong, they love to fight, but they ALWAYS know where the other one is and they are considerate of sharing with each other - if there is two of an item one will take them both and then run through the house calling "Maaaaax" or "Blaaaake" and looking for his twin to share - so so cute!)

Lachlan is trying really hard at school and we have taken him to a Paed. about his learning difficulties. He has a fantastic teacher this year that is helping us sort it out and we are now waiting for an appointment in September for some testing to determine exactly what his issues are.. at least we are on track! I am really hopeful that we will get this sorted this year and work towards helping him catch up to his peers in his school work!

Niamh is a funny little three year old, she has such an attitude at times but she is a lot like me as a kid, so I find that I tend to understand her more than a lot of people and accept her little quirks as being something that she just can't help. She is a sweet kid...very confident with herself, but also a little reserved in public situations and a bit of a 'ten tonne canary' at other times (just like mum and dad used to call me!)

Cody is a funny boy, he is doing really really well with his hearing aid and hasn't missed a beat! His school teachers are constantly telling me how bright he is and he is bringing home reading books that are beyond his age, by far! He is like a little sponge and loves to learn facts of all sorts. He is also quite confident and sure of himself - I hope he doesn't lose that quality as I know it will help him get far in life!

Isla is gorgeous! She is almost 7 months and just starting to babble "dadadadadadad" so cute! She has a gorgeous cheeky grin that she shares with anyone who will look at her. I call her my velcro baby as she has not really left my hip this past 6 months (for obvious reasons) but she is no trouble. She is not fussy or difficult and just seems to adapt to whatever is required of her!

We are also planning (again) on moving in with Dad and building on that block that we have had for ages now! The plans went out the window when mum got sick, but in her final weeks she asked me several times if I would still consider going ahead after she is gone. At first I didn't want to think about it, but now I know that she was really happy for us to do it, and I know it would help both Me and Dad out a lot to be there for each other over the next year or so. I am also really looking forward to being able to build the house that we have dreamed about on the block big enough for our large family - maybe that's the thing I can look forward to in the future!

Anyway.. this could go on forever but that's generally what has been happening around here. I will get back in and update with some more photos in the next few weeks - the kids have changed a lot so it must be long overdue!

M.

Friday 20 March 2009

About time....

It's been another month and a half - oops!

My world is pretty upside down at the moment. Without going into too much detail on the good old WWW it's suffice to say that things are pretty sh*tty :( My beautiful mum has been diagnosed with cancer just a few weeks after christmas. In a cruel twist of fate, this is not the only cancer diagnosis we are coming to terms with at the moment. Dan's Mum also received the bad news that she has cancer just a week or so before christmas.

Since the new year has begun, we seem to have had one blow after another. I am busy trying to sort the big boys out as we struggle to figure out what is going on with Lachlan. He has had me worried for at least a year now but his teacher confirmed my worries and let me know that he is way behind his peers at school and seems to have some learning/concentration issues - who knows what's going on there?? We have a Paed. appointment for him in June to watch this space

We have also been following up on something that was picked up for Cody last school year - he has a moderate hearing loss in his right ear and after several different appointments to specialists and audiologists today I took him to have a hearing aid fitted. Now the poor little boy is complaining that everything is loud... he'll just have to give it a chance to get used to it and see if it helps him at all.

Since we found out about our mums I have had a pretty hard time myself. It's hard for me to admit but I have really fallen in a bit of a heap and have arranged to get some in home child care for the little ones while I wade my way through my issues. We've had the carer here for two weeks now (for three days a week) and I qualify for 13 weeks fully paid for by centrelink (so 11 to go!) In a way it's good to have the help and it frees me up to look after myself a little more, but on the other hand I am finding it a bit difficult as I can't hide behind the craziness of everyday business and it leaves me time to be in my own head, which I'm not liking too much at the moment :(

Anyhow... it's all a bit miserable at the moment so I won't bore you all with any more of my sob story... hopefully I can come back soon with a bit more cheery news!

Marns
xx

Wednesday 4 February 2009

Almost three months....ooops!

It's been almost three months since my last post... sooooo much has changed!

I don't even know where to begin. We welcomed our second daughter Isla Jayde Horton into our family on the 3rd of December and she is an absolute delight. We all love her so much and she has just fit right in.

Christmas was nice. Darrin and Cameron came home and Rod and Dana were here so for once we were all together! Of course the time went too quick and after a few weeks they returned back to the UK.

The school holidays have been and gone. The kids have now returned to school and are settling into the new school year. Cody is in Pre primary and Lachlan is now in grade 2! They both seem happy with their classes and I am hopeful that they will have a good year.

We have had some really terrible news with some health issues in our extended family since Christmas and without going into it in detail, things are tough :( I've typed this paragraph three times (in different ways) and then deleted it again! I think I will leave it at that for now. I'll update some more down the track...

We still have the block in Wellard though we are now pretty uncertain about what we are doing! The house has been pulled off the market for the time being - I just couldn't cope with all the stress so we'll give it a few more months and then re-evaluate and make a decision.

The dynamic duo are still keeping us on our toes and as cheeky as ever. I am dealing with a lot of anger and frustration from them at the moment and am not really sure what to do with all the hitting, pushing, hair pulling and agro that they are displaying towards one another - I am just crossing my fingers and hoping that they outgrow it - SOON!

I think that's about it for us... so now I am updated I will try to keep up and post more regularly ;)

M.