Well after my last upbeat blog post declaring my new health kick I thought it was time to pop back in and update on what's been happening!!
On Saturday night I went out to a party plan party down the road with a few girlfriends. Was having a nice night and had drunk about three glasses of wine when I decided to come back home for something. In quite a good mood, I broke into a jog just outside my house and thought I'd jog off the road and up the kerb and up the driveway......WRONG!! I changed levels from the road to the kerb and landed funny on the side of my foot. I went down HARD and felt a big crunch/tear/pop sound as I went down. OMG!!! I have never felt so much pain in my life :( I was in total agony!!
My friend Jo took me to the emergency department at Rockingham hospital and I was seen fairly quickly. They did an xray and no break was seen so I was told that I had most likely torn a ligament in my ankle. I was given a tubigrip bandage and told to get a pair of crutches from the chemist as I would be off my foot for about 6 weeks!!
I came home and put up with the pain all night long, getting no more than about 10 mins sleep at a time on the lounge chair. The whole of Sunday was much the same. I sat on the couch in tears all day and really wasn't coping too well at all. By the time Monday came around I was still suffering a lot and decided that I might have to go back to a Dr or emergency department if it didn't settle.
By monday night my toes were really starting to swell and go blue. The blood flow was really restricted by that tubigrip bandage and I didn't quite know what to do so Dad came over and took me up to Murdoch emergency department while Dan stayed home and put the kids to bed. I was seen fairly quickly at Murdoch and they gave me a larger tubigrip bandage and a referral for a CT scan to be done.
Today (Tuesday) I rang up and got an appointment at 10am for the CT scan. Dad drove me up to get it done and then we had to wait till 2.30 for the report to be ready. After wasting the day at Dad's we went back to get the report and it read that I had managed to tear 3 ligaments and fracture a small bone near the ankle joint too. Knowing what the report said I decided to call into the GP office that I usually go to and ask them to have a look at the report for me. Luckily they squeezed me in with a Dr and she took a look at the report. She then organized to put a half cast on my ankle and gave me a referral to an orthopedic surgeon! So that is where I am at now.. sitting at home with a big cast on my very sore ankle and I need to call tomorrow to make an appointment with a specialist. Needless to say I am not a very happy girl at the moment :(
Obviously the exercise plan is out the window at the moment as I can't even stand on two feet. I am on crutches and will be for a while yet. I have had a lot of great help from my friends and family over the last few days but I am aware that I will need help for a long time and I can't expect that they will continue at the level they have for as long as I need so I am not too sure how I will manage.
Oh well... I will find a way and I will update when I figure out what that way is and how I am going to get through this :(
M
xx
Tuesday 29 June 2010
Wednesday 23 June 2010
it's been a while...
It's been a while since I've been here! It's been a very tough year, my toughest so far. I've learnt a lot of things this past year and have grown a lot as a person. I have been in a very dark place and am now starting to come out the other side. It's a process and one that I have been working very hard on but I really feel proud to say that the world is starting to look a lot brighter to me these days.
I struggled with myself for a long time before I admitted that I needed help but when I finally found a good GP and confided in her I can honestly say that my healing began. She started me on anti depressants (another thing I swore I would never 'give in' to - as if being on them was somehow admitting defeat!) and I have also been seeing a fantastic Psychologist who has helped me challenge a lot of my own thoughts and beliefs and accept a new reality for myself and my family.
I have been making an effort to get out there and have a social life - both with the kids and on my own and I think we are all happier for it. I have also realized that my belief that I should be able to 'do it all on my own' is neither helpful or true. I often worry too much about what others think of me and have had the impression before that people think that 'she had all those kids, she should be able to handle it all on her own and not need any help' I have come to realize with the help of my counsellor that I should not be worrying so much about what other people think and should be concentrating on looking after myself so that I can look after my family the way I want to and the way they deserve! Everyone has their own 'issues' and often others opinions of me and my family are a direct reflection of their own problems.
The in-home care thing didn't really work out for us but I have now got the little three in daycare two days a week at different family day care homes. They seem to love it and are more than happy to go and play with other little kids and it gives me a chance to do all those Drs appointments, kids appointments and various errands as well as all the housework that is always waiting... and yes... even spend a little guilt free time for myself!
Now that I am underway in the process of caring for my mind... it's time I started thinking about my body. For the last year I have been trying to eat away my feelings. I feel sad.. I eat! I feel trapped in my life... I eat! I feel fat... I eat! clearly, it's not really working for me. I have gained 10 kilos and now it's time to shift it again and start to feel better on the outside and the inside. I have hired a treadmill again and I am determined to attempt at least 30 mins of exercise every day. I have also signed up for weight watchers online in an attempt to track what I am eating and keep myself honest. I will also try to update here on a weekly basis as another method to keep me on track!
So here we go...onward and upward from here!
M.
xx
I struggled with myself for a long time before I admitted that I needed help but when I finally found a good GP and confided in her I can honestly say that my healing began. She started me on anti depressants (another thing I swore I would never 'give in' to - as if being on them was somehow admitting defeat!) and I have also been seeing a fantastic Psychologist who has helped me challenge a lot of my own thoughts and beliefs and accept a new reality for myself and my family.
I have been making an effort to get out there and have a social life - both with the kids and on my own and I think we are all happier for it. I have also realized that my belief that I should be able to 'do it all on my own' is neither helpful or true. I often worry too much about what others think of me and have had the impression before that people think that 'she had all those kids, she should be able to handle it all on her own and not need any help' I have come to realize with the help of my counsellor that I should not be worrying so much about what other people think and should be concentrating on looking after myself so that I can look after my family the way I want to and the way they deserve! Everyone has their own 'issues' and often others opinions of me and my family are a direct reflection of their own problems.
The in-home care thing didn't really work out for us but I have now got the little three in daycare two days a week at different family day care homes. They seem to love it and are more than happy to go and play with other little kids and it gives me a chance to do all those Drs appointments, kids appointments and various errands as well as all the housework that is always waiting... and yes... even spend a little guilt free time for myself!
Now that I am underway in the process of caring for my mind... it's time I started thinking about my body. For the last year I have been trying to eat away my feelings. I feel sad.. I eat! I feel trapped in my life... I eat! I feel fat... I eat! clearly, it's not really working for me. I have gained 10 kilos and now it's time to shift it again and start to feel better on the outside and the inside. I have hired a treadmill again and I am determined to attempt at least 30 mins of exercise every day. I have also signed up for weight watchers online in an attempt to track what I am eating and keep myself honest. I will also try to update here on a weekly basis as another method to keep me on track!
So here we go...onward and upward from here!
M.
xx
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