Week two of the holidays...

I can't believe how busy we have been lately! Things should start to settle down now but I am left in a HUGE mess and this house looks like a disaster zone.

Last weekend was Wendy and Matt's wedding. We had a wonderful day - the weather turned out nice for us and Wendy looked absolutely gorgeous! the venue was beautiful (Burswood on the Swan) and the reception was great fun - I think everyone there had a fantastic night :) I know I had a great time as did the other bridesmaids ;) (and contrary to popular belief we weren't THAT drunk - just cheery and as anyone who knows me and Wendy would know, a little bit silly :D) The kids spent the night at my parents in law's house and seemed to have a good time, the babies came with us.

This last week has been a bit of a blur but I know we spent a fair bit of time with Darrin and Claire who were over from England for the wedding and a quick visit. It was great to see them again (It had been three years since I last saw my brother!) and really nice to see the kids getting to know them and spend some time with them - it's a little bit sad that they are gone again now :(

We all went to the zoo on Wed (Mum, Dad, Kim, Haydn, Emily, Taylah, Darrin, Claire, Me, Lachie, Cody, Niamh, Max and Blake) and we got rained on all day long! It was a bit soggy but the kids didn't care - it just adds to the adventure for them. Lots of the animals seemed to be hiding from the rain (or maybe they were just hiding from our noisy bunch, LOL!) but we all left the zoo at 5pm having had a big day and enjoying ourselves.

Last night Lachlan had his first tee ball training session and he is so excited! Last year he played pee wees but this year he is in juniors and I believe they actually play fixtured games this season (should be interesting, LOL!) Cody is playing pee wees this year too so looks like my Saturday mornings are going to be devoted to the local tee ball oval for the summer months! (fun with three babies in tow, huh?) Dan is going to have to start working Saturdays again so I am on my own :( They have both picked up their uniforms now and they are breaking their necks to get to wear them, they keep trying to sneak out the back yard with them on, ha ha ha!

Max and Blake have been going really well. They are getting so big (must get them weighed again soon!) and to me, they look like regular three month olds now. I can't believe we have come so far in such a short time. For the most part they eat, sleep, wake for a short while then repeat the process all day long. They are realy starting to interact with us a lot more and if we try we can even get giggles out of them now (so cute!)

I am really finding 5 kids a struggle a lot of the time and as a result have been a bit of a grump lately - I really desperately need to get some organisation in this house as I know that will help us out a lot. Dan is about to start 12 hour days again and pick up Saturdays so I will be alone a lot more than I even am now, therefore will need to gain a bit more control of the housework and kids behaviours in order to keep my sanity - I'll let you know how I go, LOL! (I don't hold out a whole lot of hope for the sanity - I think it was on it's way out the door a while back!)

Marnie

Yippee for school holidays!

Two full weeks of not having to get five kids organised for the morning school run!

Actually today Lachlan and Cody went to the Perth Royal Show with Mum and Dad, Darrin and Claire so my day was quite peaceful - I only had three kids to look after, LOL! The big boys have just come home now and by the sounds of it they had a fantastic day. Lachlan was sound asleep when they got in but my little chatterbox Cody was bright eyed and full of stories about their day. I love how he gets so animated when he is talking about stuff he loves, so cute!

Dan worked a long day today and didn't get in till about 8.30 tonight. He then ate dinner and went straight to bed so I have pretty much been on my own all day. It's not always a good thing to spend so much time alone as I begin to think about stuff too much.

I have been dwelling on the past a fair bit lately, I just can't seem to shake the bad feelings that the twins birth and subsequent start to life brought us :( I am trying really hard to get over it and if I don't have time to stop and think about it all I can handle it but then something will happen to make all those feelings resurface and I get very teary and emotional about it all over again (like that telethon add that keeps flashing up the tiny baby on CPAP). I re-read my blog entries tonight and I am amazed at how far these little guys have come but It still feels so raw to me (though to look at them now you would never even know) I am aware that I have been so very lucky and that we seem to have no long standing medical issues so I even feel a little guilty having 'issues' about all of this but I feel such a deep sense of loss surrounding the circumstances of their first few weeks and what should have been a joyous time.

part of me thinks that I just need to get over it and move on - so why do I keep on having these thoughts? why dwell on it when everything is fine now? who knows? maybe it's a natural part of being able to process everything that happened so that I can move on... up until now I haven't really had the time to stop and reflect so maybe that's all it is.

Anyhow, Everything is great - all the kids are healthy and although I am sometimes a little bit down because I am so tired I am also counting my blessings and trying to remember to enjoy this time while all the kids are so young as I know it will be gone in the blink of an eye. The bigger kids all adore their little brothers and love to make them smile and 'talk' to them. There is nothing nicer than to watch them all interact with the babies and to see that love between them - those are the times that I am reminded that all the sleeplessness and craziness is worth it!

Above are some gorgeous photos taken the other day by my sister, Kim.

M.