Two full weeks of not having to get five kids organised for the morning school run!
Actually today Lachlan and Cody went to the Perth Royal Show with Mum and Dad, Darrin and Claire so my day was quite peaceful - I only had three kids to look after, LOL! The big boys have just come home now and by the sounds of it they had a fantastic day. Lachlan was sound asleep when they got in but my little chatterbox Cody was bright eyed and full of stories about their day. I love how he gets so animated when he is talking about stuff he loves, so cute!
Dan worked a long day today and didn't get in till about 8.30 tonight. He then ate dinner and went straight to bed so I have pretty much been on my own all day. It's not always a good thing to spend so much time alone as I begin to think about stuff too much.
I have been dwelling on the past a fair bit lately, I just can't seem to shake the bad feelings that the twins birth and subsequent start to life brought us :( I am trying really hard to get over it and if I don't have time to stop and think about it all I can handle it but then something will happen to make all those feelings resurface and I get very teary and emotional about it all over again (like that telethon add that keeps flashing up the tiny baby on CPAP). I re-read my blog entries tonight and I am amazed at how far these little guys have come but It still feels so raw to me (though to look at them now you would never even know) I am aware that I have been so very lucky and that we seem to have no long standing medical issues so I even feel a little guilty having 'issues' about all of this but I feel such a deep sense of loss surrounding the circumstances of their first few weeks and what should have been a joyous time.
part of me thinks that I just need to get over it and move on - so why do I keep on having these thoughts? why dwell on it when everything is fine now? who knows? maybe it's a natural part of being able to process everything that happened so that I can move on... up until now I haven't really had the time to stop and reflect so maybe that's all it is.
Anyhow, Everything is great - all the kids are healthy and although I am sometimes a little bit down because I am so tired I am also counting my blessings and trying to remember to enjoy this time while all the kids are so young as I know it will be gone in the blink of an eye. The bigger kids all adore their little brothers and love to make them smile and 'talk' to them. There is nothing nicer than to watch them all interact with the babies and to see that love between them - those are the times that I am reminded that all the sleeplessness and craziness is worth it!
Above are some gorgeous photos taken the other day by my sister, Kim.
M.
1 comment:
Hi there awesome lady. Glad to read that the twins are doing so well and that life is some what smooth. Sorry haven't caught up with you, but life is mayhem as you would totally understand and there is never enough hours or days in any week.
I agree thank goodness for school holidays as it takes some of the pressure off.
Take care of you and hi to all your gorgeous kiddies and Dan.
Post a Comment