It's not fair!!!! I am feeling really sorry for myself today but I'm especially sorry for my beautiful little men who are stuck up there at that hospital in those plastic boxes with horrible needles and tubes being stuck in them all day long :( Today has not been a good day!! Poor little Max does not look well at all! I noticed when I first got there that his breathing seemed really erratic and then after a while the alarms on his monitors kept going off and showing that his oxygen saturation levels were dropping quite frequently. I had also noted that he seemed very very quiet and lethargic compared to yesterday (yesterday he was wriggling all over the isolette and squirming a lot, today he just lies there, even when you touch him he doesn't move. He was having trouble opeining his eyes and it all just seemed like too much hard work for him today - he looked very unhappy!)
The paed. came in and was checking him over - listened to his heart and lungs and said they sounded fine, then he asked me what I though of him today? I said that I thought he was very quiet and he agreed. He then said that maybe he was brewing up an infection or something and that he would order bloods and check it out before putting him on some anti-biotics again if necessary. The blood results should be back this afternoon. In the mean time they are witholding his feeds and waiting to see how he goes.
To top it off the big kids are going feral at home :( They are really starting to fight and play up with each other and are totally ignoring Dan and I when they are asked to do anything. I know they are feeling the stress of the house but I don't know how much more I can take!! I really lost it at them this morning when I was being ignored for the 100th time (Lachlan and Cody refusing to get dressed into the clothes I had laid out for them) and Niamh was screaming at me wanting me to pick her up. I needed her to climb onto the couch because I can't pick her up yet but she was just screaming and carrying on at me and would not do as I asked!! I feel like I should have stayed in bed and cried that I was in pain for a few more weeks, at least then people might realise that things are not "back to normal". I get so defensive and frustrted when people ask about how things are going.. it's like they only really want to hear "yeah, good thanks!" and they only really want to know if the babies are ok? Well, if they were OK they would be at home with me, wouldn't they???
Sorry - I am just feeling the need to vent a little today :( I will check back later with more news on Max!
Marnie
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