still sinking in....

As I sat there at the hospital tonight looking at my new baby boys and they lie there staring back at me through the perspex I ran through the last 4 weeks in my head and I still can't believe how it has all unfolded. I feel saddened that we have had to experience their entry to the world in such a traumatic way, but at the same time I still can't quite get my head around just how damned lucky we are that we are now preparing to bring two babies home instead of preparing to bury one or even both of my babies. It's a morbid thought and one that I haven't dwelled on too much but on reflection I can't help thinking about just how close we may have come to that terrible outcome. I know for sure that when the heart trace was being done that afternoon of the 28th May, Max's heart rate was around 80bpm and dropping below that. I probably shouldn't have but I did a search on the net for "fetal heart rate 80" and found the following :

"Fetal Bradycardia
Fetal bradycardia is defined as a baseline heart rate less than 120 bpm. Bradycardia in the range of 100 to 120 bpm with normal variability is not associated with fetal acidosis. Bradycardia of this degree is common in post-date gestations and in fetuses with occiput posterior or transverse presentations.16 Bradycardia less than 100 bpm occurs in fetuses with congenital heart abnormalities or myocardial conduction defects, such as those occurring in conjunction with maternal collagen vascular disease.16 Moderate bradycardia of 80 to 100 bpm is a nonreassuring pattern. Severe prolonged bradycardia of less than 80 bpm that lasts for three minutes or longer is an ominous finding indicating severe hypoxia and is often a terminal event.4,11,16 Causes of prolonged severe bradycardia are listed in Table 6. If the cause cannot be identified and corrected, immediate delivery is recommended."

Those last three sentences really prove to me what I suspected was the case but was still having trouble believing - we were BLOODY LUCKY!

Anyhow - enough of the heavy stuff and an update on the little men....

Blake has lost a little bit more weight but still not a major concern. Today he weighs 1960g, a loss of 62g since yesterday. He is now on feeds every 2 hours of 28ml. It's so good to see him at this stage, it seems we have waited a long time to get here!

Max gained 48g from yesterday so now weighs 2206g. The best news for him tonight is that his drip tissued again so they turned it off and then decided that he didn't need it any more and they removed it! YAY FOR MAX!! No more nasty TPN drip!! It's so nice to see the needles being removed from them and each week less medicines and intervention - they almost look like normal little bubbies lying there now. The only things they have are the NG tubes in their noses and the probes on their feet for the oxygen saturation levels. Blake still had the wires on his chest and tummy tonight (respiration and heart rate monitors) but Max didn't have those (not too sure why, but hopefully it won't be long and they will be gone too!) Max is now up to 10ml per hour continuous feeds. He needs to make it to 14ml per hour to be a full feed amount so he is getting there!

The funniest thing is how happy I am that they are both pooing! We had been waiting for Max to start pooing on his own (without the help of the suppositories) and tonight while I was holding him I noticed that he was a bit stinky! When I put him back in the isolette I changed his nappy and as I wiped him he did a massive poo everywhere! It was so funny because I wasn't expecting it at all and I have no idea how someone so small can poo so much!! It really is great news though because it tells us that he is finally digesting the feeds properly. We also found out when we read the charts that earlier today Blake's whole incubator had to be changed for a clean one because he did exactly the same thing at a nappy change except he managed to spraypaint the perspex box, LOL! Typical boys already!! Gross!

I took some more really cute photos tonight too! I will try to upload them tomorrow when I get a chance. I have no idea what we are up to this weekend. Lachlan has come crashing down with some sort of bug this afternoon and has a raging fever and aches and pains. He also has a cough and stinging glassy lookig eyes - great! I just hope it is short lived and none of the other kids get it. I also really hope Dan and I don't catch it because that would mean no visits to the babies till we are over it again (they are far too little and vulnerable at the moment and we can't risk getting any more infections!) Oh well, hopefully it won't come to that and Lachie will wake up tomorrow feeling better (fingers crossed.)

M.