i'm feeling really peeved off and angry tonight and I really don't know why! I think I am just going through a stage of feeling sorry for myself and feeling quite ripped off with the whole situation and our experience of welcoming these two little men into our lives. Mostly I feel angry for what they have to endure. It's not fair that these two gorgeous little guys have to put up with the constant poking and prodding. The blood tests and the monitoring. staring at the world through the walls of those horrible plastic boxes and not getting the comfort of cuddles from their mummy and daddy. They don't deserve to have all those bruises on their hands and feet and Blake shouldn't have that horrible painful looking burn on his ankle that will most likely scar and leave a reminder of this sh**ty time :(

OK, enough of that and onto the factual stuff...

The boys were on 1ml hourly continuous feeds when I last posted. At about 9pm last night they aspirated Max and got 15ml back out! That is a huge amount considering the tiny amounts that were going in so they stopped his feeds overnight and recommenced this morning at the puny amount of half a ml per hour continuous!!! I am sure we can't get any lower now!!

Blake had a few desats today (Oxygen levels dropping) and his heart rate was a little low and doing funny things (Bradys) so the drs were still suspecting that he might be brewing an infection. They ordered blood tests to check for infection and they decided to start him on antibiotics too, just as a precaution at the moment. They were commenting that the burn on his foot looks red and swollen and quite sore so they are concerned that he is really prone to infection at that site. The bloods should be back tomorrow but in the mean time he is on antibiotics anyway just in case.

Both boys were supposed to still be getting long lines put in tonight but I am not too sure if they have succeeded with those yet? Dan has gone up to the hospital again tonight so when he gets home I will know if they have managed to get that done. At least if they get those in I will know that they won't need to have the drips changed from hand to foot every few days - I think their little veins there have had enough and they are running out of hands and feet!

I am pretty sure that Blake is still on the 1ml per hour continuous feeds and tolerating that for the time being.

When the Drs were doing their rounds today they stopped to speak to me about their progress. The paed said that it is frustratingly slow but not outside the realms of normal just yet. If they continue to not tolerate their feeds for too much longer they might look into further testing to make sure that they don't have any further gut or bowel problems but at the moment they are still just considering that they have immature systems that are just slow to kick into gear and get working. I was reminded again that they are just not meant to be born yet and that we just need to wait for them to catch up. The head ultrasounds are going to be done tomorrow. I am sure I won't sleep all that well tonight :(